I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
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