it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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