Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
The KFC double down is way too much for a drunk. He was just staring at it in awe.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
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