i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Is a 'Dr. Willy Fister Gynecologist' costume appropriate for work?
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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