Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
Do you know why I have a burn shaped like a tiny spork?
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
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