fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
I changed my mind about Tim Gunn. I like him now. Mostly because he said someone's dress looks like a gay t-rex. Or something.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Randomize
