She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
yeah, you were trying to hump the doorman.
when did we get a doorman?
we were also in the wrong building...
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
