Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize