could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
You tried to convince our cab driver that your $2 bill was worth $11.70
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Dude. Cvs sells sex toys. And my discount works on them. Game on.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
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