Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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