I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
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