I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
