Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
While in Europe, he bought me a pouring tap to put on my liquor so I don't spill. This means 2 things.1) He really loves me. 2) I'm a noticeable alcoholic.
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
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