Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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