He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Randomize
