I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
Randomize
