the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
