the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
do you know how hard it is to sit through a 3 hour movie with someone and not fuck them?
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
