but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Thanks for the hickies, asshole. I make my living as a fitness instructor. It's gonna look reeeeeeal weird if I have to wear a scarf while teaching Zumba all week.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
I think i got beer on your cat.
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