I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
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