need another drink. this is the easiest way
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I know now the amount of smoke it takes to set off the fire alarm....no longer worried about using the bong...not even close
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
