May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
This chick had a microhand. Fucking, like, jerking off a baby carrot would make it look like corn.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Just made out with the guy who gave me my tour. Full circle college win.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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