'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
it glows. i had to have it.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I'm calling into work tomorrow for day drinking and kitten shopping. Totally legitimate.
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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