you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
Randomize
