It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
