Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
