obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
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