So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
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