omg... punch me in the throat... I am about to lose my mind with my parents.. I'm not saying I agree with the menendez brothers.. but I understand
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
I could fuck to npr.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
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