Is it normal to miss your booty call?
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
