$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize