Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
So he ended up throwing a watermelon that he stole from the cafeteria saying "if i cant have it no one can" of the 5th floor.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
