I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
