is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Yeah, he has a kid now! Shit... You know you're all grown up when the people you used to have threesomes with become parents
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
my mom tried to talk to me about my drinking, i somehow turned it around on her, now shes going to AA and I'm going to the bar.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
She keeps comparing me to her favorite dildo and I don’t know if I’m flattered or creeped out
Randomize