we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
Little spoons don't ask big questions
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
It was awful until we put her on a word ration. And she rationed her words accordingly. I love blondes.
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
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