I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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