I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
