I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
