a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
Randomize
