Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
Randomize