It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Someone signed my nipple.
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