And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
Randomize
