dude i'm inner monologue high
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
dressing as green man for st patrick's day = free drinks all night long
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Randomize
