Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
The bartender just told me he would have me face down in his pillow by the end of the night. I hate when you make me go to gay clubs.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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