CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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