I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Randomize
