I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize
