I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I'm way too drunk on a Sunday to handle this level of Jesus.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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