i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I just really don't even know what I would do with a boyfriend... Like do I just kiss it and then leave it in the corner? Like how often does it eat??
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
Wow. Ok who would waste Game 7 ticket on kids?!
Poor parenting at its best
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
Randomize
