i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
