i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
First Peyton Manning retires, and now the most interesting man in the world is retiring for Dos Equis. This is the worst week of my fucking life.
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
