just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Shitshow foam night was such a success
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
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