i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
My vagina just recognized that song.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
Going to bed. I have to wake up early and teach small children. And then have affairs with their fathers. I'm going to get deported.
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Just casually ripping a bowl in the chicken coop, with the chickens. NBD
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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