why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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