I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
Naked Twister starts at high noon
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
