we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
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