I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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