How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
