I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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