So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize
