I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
Randomize