She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
