:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
If you don't remember anything tomorrow, this is to remind you that you asked me in secret to build a bobsled with you and re-enact Cool Runnings.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
The dude at Coffee Bean just handed me my tea latte and whispered, "pomegranate blueberry is such a sexy flavor". With a wink. I'm almost certain that there's an STD floating around in my drink.
Listen, unless you want to spend your birthday in a trunk, you better invite me
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize
