should my penis look like a turkey
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
As soon as they started using chocolate milk as a chaser for captain Morgan, I thought l it'd be best to leave.
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
Drunkenly tried to auction off Merik's pancakes at Ihop. Apparently I make a great auctioneer. Also, no one wants 30 cent pancakes.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
