So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
i want george washington to fuck me as hard as he can holy shit
We had sex and then ordered pizza after. This relationship is looking good so far.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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