The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
Just made a Mimosa with Chardonnay and Emergen-C.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
