why wash my dick in the morning if you're not there to suck it?
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I gave the guy a $20 tip on a $9 cab ride, he thought I was just bad at math but I was really just incredibly thankful to be alive and home.
I was like "don't worry, I'm a math major and you deserve the shit out of that 222% tip"
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
